The 100
by ioGaggag69
Summary: My, what a title! :3 Post season 2. Clarke comes back to camp. Chapter 1: Bellamy/Clarke reunion. Yes it's one of those stories again! Sorry :D I like to think its not that bad. Enjoy anyway :* PS: it's all the characters really but mostly those indicated
1. Chapter 1

"Yeah O do whatever..."

I don't even know what she's talking about. I haven't known for weeks, not since she left.

As usual I get her worried look, like I'm mental or somehow dying. Which I might be. Feels like it anyway.

"Bellamy..."

"I said do whatever you want O ok? I don't care, just... Just leave me be."

She makes a move to touch my arm or pat my shoulder, but draws back, thinking better of it.

In the first couple of weeks I was hopeful, very much so. I thought this would all be temporary, that she'd be back soon. That I wouldn't have to do it all alone. That she'd be ok, more importantly.

Now I don't even know if she made it, if she's still out there. Alive and safe. Maybe even happy (I doubt that). I should never have let her go, should have went after her, told her to stay, that it'd be ok, that we'd be ok. But I let her go, I thought it was for the best. I'd be strong for her, she'd get better and come back after a few weeks. I wouldn't be alone in this mess.

It's been two months.

Everyone is looking at me like I'm grieving, or depressing or something. I shouldn't be. I don't know if I am. I have no reason to be, there's no proof she's dead. She might be coming back right this second.

I mean, yeah. It seems every woman I ever lov- care about eventually dies. I guess it'll be Octavia soon. Bright side is I won't have anyone left to lose.

Raven's been messing with me, telling me I'd gone cynical, just like her. She's probably right. It's cool to be cynical. People just accept the fact that you never smile or laugh, that you probably never will again. But for her it's different. She got closure. She saw Finn's body, saw him dead, being killed even. I don't know. I probably never will.

Given she never comes back, I won't know if she died or left us behind, abandoned us... Abandoned me.

I mean she must still feel something toward us. Her people. She did so many things to save them, we did. Together. As a team. As whatever it is we are. We pulled that lever. We blew up those grounders. She cannot leave me after that. "May we meet again" she said "May we meet again"...

The worst thing about the stares is that they think they know why I turned out like this. This spectator of my own life. This vegetative-but-still-conscious state of passiveness. "All those people dead" they must think. "All those people he killed". But that's not it. She is it, the reason of my torment.

Someone's headed toward me. I can her their footsteps.

"Bellamy" a voice says, panting.

Raven.

"Do whatever you want Reyes. You more than anyone knows I don't give a shit anymore..."

"No Bellamy." Her voice sounds excited. Maybe... Happy?

I finally look up at her and see some kind of careful smile.

"Come" she orders as she grabs my arm and pulls.

I follow, not really knowing what to think. I would probably not be that big of a deal. Other "great news". Once again misuse of the term "great". Great is, or was, her. Great is Octavia. Great is not some new thing for the fence or whatever.

"Bellamy" Raven calls from next to me.

Oh. We stopped. We're out. We somehow, at some point, passed the gate.

"What is it this time Rave-"

As I look up I see her. A tiny, so tiny but so strong somehow, blonde, her hair a mess, dirt everywhere, but it's her. Right here, standing in front of me.

I can see she's hurting, seeing me like this. All non-caring and nonchalant and just plainly sad.

She tries a smile. But it's a sad one.

I feel numb. My body is stuck on pause. How should I react to this?

I feel myself go through way to many emotions at the same time, but I don't know which one to act on. Anger? Surprise? Relief? Joy?

Happiness?

For the first time in months I bring myself so say, let alone think, her name.

"Clarke"

I don't know how or when it happened, but I feel a single tear silently and slowly roll down my cheek.

She's right there, less than an arm length away. She's in my reach. I could touch her, feel her, know that she's real, she's ok. She's here.

Then suddenly, with no warning, it all comes flooding in.

We both move forward, I feel her arms around my neck while mine are clutching her back. She buries her face in the crook of my neck, mine's in her hair. I can feel her nose is cold.

And I'm so angry, so extremely angry at her, but everything else is just too much and I forget all about it. The worry, the longing, the sadness... It comes all back in and I hang on harder to her. She's saying something, muttering it again and again. I try to listen and faintly seem to hear "I'm sorry". Ah, if only she knew how sorry she can be.

She's crying. I'm not anymore.

I want to say I'm sorry too, that I should never have let her go, that I shouldn't have let her bare the burden alone. But all I want is to never let her go again, and I just tighten my grip on her waist while she tightens hers on my neck.

She keeps saying she's sorry but I can't bring myself to speak at all.

It must have been a while, every one in camp must have heard now. They'll all be watching by now. We should stop and head inside, get her cleaned up. But I don't want to, because the minute that moment is over I'll have to act on the anger, and everything else. I'll have to hurt her when I'll tell her what her absence did to me, what hell it was while she was gone. I could not, but I have to, or it'll eat me alive and just blow up later. She'll start crying again and say she's sorry and I'll just start comforting her because she has me so wrapped around her finger... She'll have to face Jasper, face them all like I did for the past two months. I don't want to but I have to.

"Clarke." I wait. "Clarke, come on let's go."

I unhook my hands from her back but she just doesn't move.

"Come on Clarke"

I take her head between my hands and pull her away. She looks up at me and I see her eyes drooping. Her cheeks are all wet. She looks weakened.

"Are you...?"

"I'm kinda tired" she says.

And then she drops lifeless to the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

"Get out of the way"

Somehow I'm moving, clutching Clarke in my arms. She looks like a rag doll and it freaks me out, so I don't even think anymore, I just act. Automatically I get her to the med bay. I'm assuming Abby and Raven are right behind, I don't really care.

"Get her on the table" Abby tells me. I do so, with a delicacy I didn't even know I was capable of. The moment her head touches the hard surface of the table I get away from her.

I'm going completely crazy. I just got her back and I might lose her again. But I'm so so mad at her... Should I be? I know I have the right to be, but she might be dying.

"She's dehydrated, among other things" Abby is talking frantically "She needs fluids... But we don't have any. Her blood type is so rare, we'll never find a match!"

That moment I finally come back to my senses. A while back we had to every kid's blood type, just in case and...

"I can give her blood, we have the same type"

"Are you sure?"

I sit down next to Clarke and put my arm on the table.

"Just give her my damn blood."

I can see her hesitate for a second, but she knows I'm not that stupid, I'd never give her blood if I wasn't sure it wouldn't lead to complications.

I'm not listening anymore when she asks for supplies in order to transfer my blood to Clarke. I'm just looking at her face, her bloody, dirty, beautiful face; those eyes don't get to be closed forever, they'll be open and alive again: fierce, determinate, smart, and beautiful.

"Clarke" I look up and see Raven standing there. She puts her hand on Clarke's hair, and I don't think I've ever seen her being so gentle and soft. And for the second time ever, I see Raven Reyes cry. She lowers down so her face is closer. "Clarke, you don't get to leave. You're supposed to be strong, you're a fighter. We both are. And we'll be fighters together for the rest of our lives. I'm not living my life without you Clarke. And if you're not able to make it, then there's no chance I am. I'm so mad at you right now, but we are gonna work things out. And when all this mess is over, we'll be BFFs, and talk about boys and girly stuff like we should if we had a normal life. My kids will call you auntie Clarke and yours will call me auntie Raven; I'll be the coolest aunt who teaches them how to build stuff and tells the best jokes in the universe. And this kinda is bullshit because Earth is crappy, but we'll get our perfect lives, and we'll live them side by side, because that's what's meant to be. So stop being a moron and fight this."

It's only when I get a bit dizzy that I understand Abby already put the needle in my arm and my blood is being pumped into Clarke.

After a while Abby pulls out the needle and a chair is brought for Raven to sit. Abby excuses herself and leaves to "get some air".

Raven's hand is on Clarke's and I put mine on top. Our eyes meet and I simply smile. She smiles back, her tears dry.

About an hour later she leaves too.

And I found myself facing the reason of my greatest fears and anger.

"I kinda agree with Raven you know. You don't get to leave. All of us, we were send down here together, we're meant to live side by side. It's only fair to those of us who didn't make it that we fight for it. We were send here together, we'll live together, that means we'll die together too. We'll do everything together, just like we pulled that lever together. Unlike the way we dealt with it. Because you bailed on me. You left us all, but I'm the one who suffered the most about it. You left and I'm so mad at you right now... But now that you're back, you're going to make up for it. I'm mad, Raven is mad, O is mad... Everyone is. But we won't be forever; I guess you'll just have to win us back. Telling everyone is angry at you might not be the best way to make you wake up but... Know it. You've got to wake up so we're not mad anymore, and so we get to live our lives wholly. And that means with you."

I have talked so fast and uncontrollably I'm not even sure of what I said.

I hear a sigh and look up to see her eyes open and turned to me.

"Oh God Bellamy I'm so sorry" she croaks.

I shouldn't but I leap forward and hold her tight.

"It's ok, it's ok. It'll be a long and fastidious process but eventually it'll all fall back into place." I whisper into her ear. "Now you rest all right?"

I wait for her to nod then head to Raven's.

She looks up from whatever she was doing and when she sees me there's a look of relief on her face.

"Hey she's awake" I say in a breath.

"I know you moron" she answers jokingly "If not you'd never have left her side"

With that she left to the med bay.

I spent the rest of the day wondering whether or not she had heard either mine or Raven's shitty pep talks. I mean Raven's was alright, but mine though...

I understand now that I have to be mad at her, it's for the better. It's healthier this way I guess.

For the next few days I kept visiting her only when she slept, sitting by her side and fleeing the moment she stirred.

She was up and running in a week.

But still, for some reason, no one had seen her since she walked out the med bay and entered Raven's tent. No one except Raven that is. She brought meals and tons of water inside, so we all knew Clarke was leaving there 24/7. And Raven seemed to spend more time there too. Sometimes when I tentatively walked by I could here Clarke talking. It sounded like she was reciting something.

When Raven was out, before we could even ask her she'd answer: "She's not ready yet". So we waited patiently.

Some theories that it is all a feint and that she has fled again and used Raven as a distraction to get as far as possible before we go after her, or that she doesn't want to face us out of cowardice have started to rise. They have only just started to get to my head when tonight, after five days inside Raven's tent, Clarke gets out at dinner, followed shortly by Raven who is smiling.

Everyone lifts their heads at the same time. Every pair of eyes in camp are following her as she walks to the fire. She looks nervous, a rare occurrence. She stands there silently for a minute before she starts to speak:

"I know you're all angry at me, and I understand why. And I have no idea how this is gonna go, probably bad I'd say..."

She is cut by a cough from Raven. Their eyes meet, Raven nods, and Clarke continues:

"What I mean to say is that I'm sorry. And I know this kind of phrase doesn't mean anything, so I'll elaborate." She takes in a breath. "You are my people, and I failed you. The moment I decided to leave, I failed you. I only saw things from my point of view, and never imagined what it'd do to you all. Some of you particularly" Her gaze passes by Monty, Jasper, Octavia, Raven before it gets to me. "Some of those things I did, I didn't do alone. So who was I to be the only one to take the right to go and not be haunted by them? Well, I was selfish and inconsiderate." She sighs and her gaze leaves mine. "So how am I going to make up for it? I don't really know but let me tell you I'll try my hardest. I've had some ideas, but only one of them seem to really make sense."

She takes a few steps towards Jasper and kneels in front of him. "Jasper, I broke your heart. I took away the person you loved, an amazingly brave girl who went by the name of Maya. You probably hate me, I would hate me to. She gave her life so we'd be free. Her help was more than we could have asked for. So I figured we had to at least remember her, even though it'll never be enough compared to what she gave us. I think the part of camp where we, what's left of the 100, live should be named after her. So Jasper, if it doesn't hurt you to much to see her name there everyday, would you like to call it Camp Maya?"

The silence is perfect apart from the cracking of the fire.

Jasper starts to get up so Clarke does too. For a moment I'm afraid he might hurt her, but instead he hugs her. He cries on her shoulder and she holds him, and we can hear him say: "Yes, ok" between sobs.

There's silence, and the first one to move is Monty. He goes to hug them, and for the first time in months, Jasper lets him. Then it all goes really fast. All the kids rush to encircle them to and soon Clarke and Jasper are not visible. I can here adults laugh and clap, and a mixture of cries of happiness and sadness from the giant hug. I watch from a distance, waiting for them to detach from each other.

Then, I go to Clarke and take her into my arms. I can here the kids cheering. I kiss her cheek and whisper: "Good start Princess".

And for the first time in too long I hear the most beautiful sound in the world: Clarke laugh, even if muffled in my shirt.


End file.
